Restless Emotions
by meefgal
Summary: After the first fight between Near and Mello, Near decides to lock his emotions into a box and throw away the key. What will become of the albino when his emotions fight for escape, and why does Mello care so much about the outcome? -possible yaoi-


~DISCLAIMER: I do not own Near, Mello, or any other characters in this whole story, nor the fandom itself!~

OOOOKAY, *stretches* felt like getting some bad painful depression out of me, since I just had a fight with a friend over something totally stupid, and it escalated so much that I think she wants to be enemies with me now O.O;; so, I'm writing this fanfiction to represent what may/may not happen to me, if she continues bad-mouthing me and driving me into depression, so here goes~

NOTE: For my friend and I's safety, I won't be telling who this friend is, or what happened exactly. I'll just try to alter it so you get the gist of it without getting heartburn for Near and/or Mello, if you adore such characters... but it may happen anyways, so beware, but at the same time, try to enjoy my story~

Normal POV

The soft sound of clicking puzzle pieces resounded throughout the large room, known to the orphans as the Common Room, and known to Near as a safe-haven from bullies. Every few minutes, the clicking would stop for about ten seconds as Near glanced to his right, out the window, to the soccer field below, finding the blond he was searching for, then smiling and returning to his puzzle.

This blond, known as Mello, was the very first orphan who spoke to him when he first arrived at the age of 4. As Near remembered, Mello had reached his hand out confidently and stated his alias, grinning. Near hesitantly had reached up to put his tiny hand into the 6-year-old's hand in a shake. The young genius took the albino around the orphanage in a bit of a tour, showing him all the main rooms, his own room to come to if he needed help, and a room set up to welcome the small white-haired prodigy.

In the first few weeks they'd known each other, they'd become close, and Mello quickly realized that Near was passing him in all grades, surprising him. Of course, being the 'mellow' kid he was at the time, he cheered Near on, encouraging him to keep getting better. Near continued improving, and in places he struggled, Mello helped him until he got the hang of it and beat him in that too.

Mello was kind of like a big brother for Near, ever since that first day they met in the orphanage.

Near was now a young 8-year-old, and Mello was 10 years old. The albino glanced out the window in time to see a boy a bit older than Mello kick the ball at net, and Mello, currently the goalie, stopped it by diving and clutching the once-speeding ball in his arms. His teammates all cheered and gathered around him. He got up, dusted himself off, and kicked the ball back to the other team, who picked it up and started back inside while Mello accepted each high-five he was offered from his own team. They too started heading in, still talking on and on about how well the game went.

That was one of the only things Mello was much better than Near at; sports. Near couldn't run for more than 20 seconds without collapsing in exhaustion, even if he had all the energy in the world. His body just wasn't built for physical activity. Near went back to his puzzle, placing the last few pieces in as Mello and a few other boys burst in through the large common room doors, laughing and rough-housing like usual.

Near looked up at the two boys who approached him, Mello and his friend Matt. Mello had known Matt since before Near was at the orphanage, so they often spent more time together than Mello and Near but the albino didn't mind at all. Even if he only got 30 minutes of time with the blond each day, that would be totally fine with him. Matt slumped against the wall, seeming more exhausted than any of the boys, despite that Near observed he moved less than any of them. The redhead pulled a DS from his pocket, flipping it open and turning it on, and started playing it. Mello sat down beside Near, looking over the colourful puzzle that Near had finished.

"Hey, looks like you're already done with that puzzle!" Mello laughed. Near smiled at him.

"Yup," he replied quietly. "I just started it this morning..." Near then looked at Mello, who was examining the lovely portrait of an old Victorian-style mansion. Then, he spoke softly again, "Mello needs a shower, he smells like grass and sweat..." Mello blinked at him before laughing at Near's cute way of speaking.

"Yeah, I guess I should go get that done then!" He stood, patting Near on the head gently. "I'll be back in half an hour then!" he turned and walked swiftly out of the common room, being followed by Near's bright-teal eyes.

Near then looked at his puzzle before he grabbed the two top corners and collapsed it inwards, crumbling the puzzle back into just pieces. He cleaned the pieces, putting them into a box, before standing, wobbling, and wandering out of the common room, headed to his own room.

OoOoO

"What's the matter with you, you've always been so quiet and obedient before!"

"That was before Mello tried to make a move on me!"

"I thought you were okay with it, you were so relaxed!"

"You think being shocked speechless is 'relaxed'?"

Orphans gradually collected in the common room to witness the extremely-rare fight between Mello and Near. Since Near broke his speech pattern of speaking in third person, they all assumed correctly that this was a very bad fight.

"But, you said-"

"Never mind what I said, it isn't true anymore, Mello!"

"You should've told me before I decided to return the feelings!"

"Mello, I hate you!"

The whole room went silent, Mello was shocked into silence. His wide eyes concentrated on Near, before Near saw that they were watering slightly. He realized what he'd said was completely uncalled for, and very unlike him to say, and before he could apologize, Mello's fist greeted his face unpleasantly. He was sent to the floor, clutching his cheek. His lip had split and was now getting blood all over his hands. Mello stood over him, kicking him once before bending down and whispering into his ear.

"That felt good, Near," he muttered quietly. "I hate you, too." he then stood up, leaving the room and all the other orphans curious, wondering what he'd bent down to say to Near. It took half of them to realize that Near was still on the ground, bleeding, before someone finally rushed to his side, helping him sit up and asking if he was alright. When he didn't reply, the girl looked into his eyes to find, to her horror, that his eyes had lost their brilliant bright colour, and were now a dull grey. Near stood up, pushing her away gently, and walked out of the room. The other orphans let him go, after seeing one of the most easily-concerned girl not helping him after whatever it was shocked her into not helping him.

Near wandered through the halls, passing stray orphans who asked if he was alright, receiving no reply. Soon, the child found himself in the kitchen, rummaging through the knife drawer until finding a clean, unused knife that was easy to clean. It also had a sheath, which made it easy to store. He slipped the knife up his shirt and slid it into an inner pocket in the shirt before closing the drawer quickly and walking back into his own room.

OoOoO

Mello felt more and more guilty with each passing second. Matt, who was there for the whole fight, had followed Mello back to his room after the crowd split up, to make him less suspicious, and talked to the blond about it. After talking with the laid-back gamer, he felt regretful and upset that he'd said such things to a dear friend. Matt kept trying to encourage him to get his ass to Near's room and apologize, but Mello kept bringing up 'What if' situations, which drove Matt nuts. It wasn't until late at night that Mello waas finally considering the upsides to talking it out with Near, but he was far too late, for when he looked over at the door, he saw that a letter had been slipped underneath.

He blinked. Matt had his headphones on and couldn't have heard the letter slip under the door and into their room, and Mello was too distracted with his thoughts to have noticed either. He picked up the letter and saw that in red-brown letters, the name 'Mello' was sketched onto the front of the envelope. He shuddered. That ink looked an awful lot like blood...

He stumbled back over to his bed, sat down on the edge, and tore the envelope open. He knew exactly who this was from. It had to have been Near. He could recognize the child's neat handwriting, despite it looking a little messier than normal, like it was rushed or something. He took the letter out of the envelope and unfolded it, his eyes widening huge when he smelt the very familiar smell of blood. He couldn't be sure before if what he smelt on the envelope was blood or not, but now, with the dark-red letters all scrawled on the paper like that, he could distinctly tell that the letter was written completely in blood. He trembled as he read:

_Mello,_

_I don't want to be emotional, I can't afford it anymore. Most 'friends' make up and pretend a fight never happened, right? What happened to the 'friendship' we had? I would have thought you'd come back to me and we could make up by now..._

_Do you really want us to break away and become enemies, is that what you want? I can make that happen, you just need to keep acting harsh, cold, cruel, and so on to me, and make me depressed enough to become detached from the world. If you don't want this, please try to be nicer so that it won't happen._

_If you truly mean what you said to me, you will have a rival in no time._

_~Near_

Mello's rage re-ignited with each word on the paper. He didn't even care anymore that Near probably cut himself to provide ink enough to write this letter, the only thing running through his head was considering going with Near's suggestion for maybe the last time.

"I couldn't find a better reason," Mello muttered. "to have a rival in my life. Who knows, it may help with my grades, and I will finally get better than that albino brat, Near..." Mello smirked with satisfaction and laughed. Matt heard through his music and paused the song, moving his headphones to hang around his neck and asked Mello what the hell he was laughing about. Mello explained, handing Matt the letter to read.

"..." Matt sighed heavily and moved his goggles up to his forehead from over his eyes and looked at Mello with a serious expression, causing the blond to raise an eyebrow at him curiously. "This may end up hurting you both more than it will help you two," Mello scoffed.

"Are you kidding? I'm going to have more inspiration to succeed L this way!" Mello laughed lightly. Anyone could tell he wasn't exactly serious about his newfound hatred and rivalry against Near. Well, not yet, at least. "I'll stop helping him along, and he'll fall behind in no time! I'll be number one at last!"

If only he knew the one flaw in his plan was Near's emotions draining, leaving the scarred white-haired genius with much empty space in his head to learn on his own. Near was completely capable of holding his place as first at Wammy's House without the help of Mello.

OoOoO

Well, that was chapter one! I hope it portrays what happened between my friend and I well. Mostly, what happened was that my friend was Mello and I was Near, and we weren't really fighting over her making a move on me, it was something a lot stupider like a costume prop that I couldn't supply for her... but it basically ended the same way. We made up shortly after, but I can tell she's still pretty miffed about my lack of help with her Anime North costume ^^;;

That letter Near gave to Mello was taken word-for-word what I said to her, but I altered it so it made sense in this story, 'cause obviously they weren't fighting over a costume XD I didn't write my message to her in blood, obviously... but the fight was almost that intense, it made me wanna puke o3o;; but I think things are okay now, since she really doesn't care and said a short 'sure whatever' to my apology without even apologizing back, so...

...

OKAY, hopefully this story will go somewhere! Please leave constructive criticism and/or suggestions for future chapters, and we'll see if this story really takes off or not!~

~Meef


End file.
